Is This You?
Is this you?
You’re a fully functioning responsible adult but somehow seem unable to say no to people, invitations or situation you feel uncomfortable in!
Even when you do say no – you change your mind, back track or give in at the last moment.
Is this you? – When you say no you feel guilty, shame or feel like you’re the one whose done something wrong. You know that saying no is difficult for you, but you’re stuck and unsure what to do and every time you agree or tolerate or try and ignore the difficult person, situation or decision you regret it later.
Well – you’re not alone. Personally, and professionally I’ve come across (and helped) hundreds of people who are challenged by this little 2 letter word – No!
As recent as today I had a client wanting advice on how to handle her difficult family member. This family member was her brother who for most of her life, (she is now in her 50s) had bullied her, intimidated her generally and made her feel unworthy.
It was crystal clear that this woman didn’t need anything else, but to learn the one most valuable life skill of all – the freedom to say NO. Yes, I say freedom because she had none. She felt trapped as if she had no choice but to be bullied and tolerate his appalling attitude and behaviour.
Why is that?
It’s because most of us have all grown up wanting to be seen as ‘good’ and doing the ‘right thing’ by others and not upsetting anyone else. We have been conditioned to seek approval (even from those who hurt us) and we lack the confidence and self-esteem to trust ourselves and the decisions we make.
How do we change?
The first step to change anything is recognising and even embracing our weaknesses.
The second is being passionate about our lives and hungry to learn better ways of communicating which protect us emotionally, financially, socially and spiritually.
The third is having the unwavering commitment to never give up, until you have mastered the art of saying No without fear, guilt or shame and setting up your protective boundaries.
Change takes courage, commitment and practice. It also means doing things differently!
Are you ready? no, really – ARE YOU READY?
A lot of people say they want something better and know it will be good for them to change BUT still aren’t bothered to make the investment in their lives or step up to be the very best they can be.
Nothing will change unless you change!
If you want to learn more from Pamela about the benefits of a happy and healthy life, then email firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace any specific advice from a lawyer, counsellor or any other medical professional. The article is general information only.